


Summer of Like

by 6_impossiblethings



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Inspired by Music, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Rivalry, ex-friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:13:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28442235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/6_impossiblethings/pseuds/6_impossiblethings
Summary: Despite June and Nora telling him this song was a horrible idea, Alex can’t help but sing his heart out in the recording studio. Even though it’s about him, Alex can’t help but like the song. It’s catchy and relatable - all the best ones are.________________Alex and his band get a last minute spot for a summer rock tour. The only problem? Henry Fox and "The Royals" are the headlining band. The summer gradually transforms into something Alex refers to as the "Summer of Like". Even though they're not together anymore, Henry and Alex can't stop writing songs about each other.* A non-linear fic with a rock band AU.
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, June Claremont-Diaz/Nora Holleran/Percy "Pez" Okonjo, Liam/Spencer (Red White & Royal Blue)
Comments: 32
Kudos: 74





	1. August 8, 2019

August 8, 2019-

Despite June and Nora telling him this song was a horrible idea, Alex can’t help but sing his heart out in the recording studio. Even though it’s about _him_ , Alex can’t help but like the song. It’s catchy and relatable - all the best ones are.

They swear their fans are going to eventually figure out who it’s about. Or it’ll just cause unnecessary drama and conspiracy theories. Alex argues that it’s totally healthy to write songs about ex-lovers. Isn’t that what people have been doing with music all along? It’s always been his mission to write about things that matter to him.

Not that he wanted everyone to know his business, but Alex wanted to write about real emotion. So when he wrote the words, “I wrote a goodbye note in lipstick on your arm/ when you passed out/ I couldn’t bring myself to call/ Except to call it quits,” he’s brought right back to last summer.

A summer where frenemies turned best friends turned into ex-lovers. It was the "summer of like" as he called it. He remembered sneaking out of their band’s bus after writing a note on his arm. It’s also true, he couldn’t face him at the end except for calling to break up with him. He held out hope for days, but instead he was just faced with unreturned messages and an empty inbox. He’s still not sure why everything crumbled between them. 

Looking back, Alex can see that it was destined to end now, but at the time, it felt perfect. He tries to honor that with the song too. 

He still thinks of Henry Fox too often. 

None of his fans will know, but for those close to him, they’ll totally be able to tell when they listen to his new album. Especially this song.

If the words, “And I cast a spell over the east to make you think of me / The same way I think of you” aren’t a dead give away, he’s not sure what is. Thoughts of Henry won’t leave his mind despite the fact that Henry seemed to walk out of Alex’s life with ease. 

Even with their concerns about the song, June and Nora loyally play the song with him. When they finish their recording and listen to the playback, Alex knows for sure it will be a hit. Even their manager Zahra seems to approve for once. She doesn’t say it, but Alex swears she smiled once while he was singing. Usually, she’s offering endless suggestions on what they can do next.

This song is different from most of his previous ones. It’s actually deep for a change. 

Their first album was all upbeat, happy, and carefree. It had a few top hits and one that seemed to play non-stop over the summer. It gained them enough attention to get on a tour group and landed them a contract for this record deal. 

Maybe that’s what all the great artists had in common - someone had stomped all over their hearts leaving them with plenty material for inspiration.

This album was already taking on a much more “adult” tone. It was still upbeat and fun sometimes, but the undertones overall were filled with anger, disappointment, and bitterness. He was worried it was a bit too much, but when he had finished writing all of the songs, Nora thought it would be epic. June was on board for anything and agreed to them all. Their only reservation was this song.

Part of it too was an infamous post Alex had made on his Instagram the year before. It was a picture of the two of them together with a yellow taxi cab behind them. The caption had mentioned something about them being friends. Alex had since removed the post, but surely their fans remembered it. It still appeared in Buzzfeed or Daily Mail pieces speculating about their “feud”. Unfortunately, there were also pictures of Alex’s “good-bye” messages on his arms. Fans had posted pictures of Henry from those days with the words, “lover”, “fucked”, and “Bowie” on his arm. 

Perhaps he should’ve been more discrete, but the damage was done. He was releasing the song either way. Fans were going to make absurd theories and he never has to admit if they’re right about this. 

He doesn’t even follow Henry anymore; although, fans would definitely use that in their theories one way or another. At this point, he’s not re-following him just to reduce suspicion. 

Their recording session ends and June and Nora grab dinner with Alex afterwards. They go to a new vegan restaurant nearby to celebrate their progress on their new album. According to Zahra, they can release a new single in the next week and should be done recording completely in two weeks. Many people in the studio congratulated them on their new songs.

Throughout dinner, Nora keeps throwing out which song they should pick. She throws out different statistics as to which song would make the best single. 

“We should release “Don’t Care” first. Songs with the time between 3:00-3:15 are 78% more likely to make the Top Hits list.”

Alex wants to argue how arbitrary that is, but June cuts him off with, “I like “Not This Time” and “Can’t Help It” better. They’re more relatable to fans.” 

He rolled his eyes, “Those are the only two you wrote. Of course you’d suggest them.”

June turns on him. She flips a strand of hair over her shoulder and declares, “That makes them the most unique. What do you suggest?”

“Bang the Doldrums,” the suggestion is out of his mouth and he instantly regrets it. Nora chokes on her drink and coughs a few times. Alex watches as June and Nora exchange a look Alex would call concerned. 

“Do you really think that’s the best idea?” June asks with concern. “I mean, it’s blasting details about a love affair you fought to keep a secret.”

They had made this argument before when he suggested the song for the album. Last summer, Alex did everything he could to keep the biggest secret of his entire life. No one outside their little group had even suspected they had a relationship. Most fans thought that the pair merely tolerated each other.

Alex knew how wrong they all were. One of the worst parts of the summer was keeping this secret. He knew just how incredible Henry was and wanted to tell the world, but that had been against the rules they agreed to. 

He looked right up at June and met her eyes as he said, “It’s the best song on there. It sets the tone for the rest of the songs and has mystery that will get fans excited. This is the one we should release first.”

He could see June’s expression resolve as he gave his explanation. Nora took her turn to question him as she asked, “So what are you going to do if someone asks you about him?”

This is the real question Alex had to prepare for. Would he lie about Henry? To do so would sacrifice something deep and personal inside him. Alex knew his life had certainly changed in that summer. Even without him now, Alex was a changed man. He didn’t want to lie about it, but he needed to convince them to pick this song.

“I’ll say whatever Zahra tells me to. People make up things all the time for their songs. We don’t have to list my name as the writer even.”

Nora frowned but nodded. “Statistically, it will be a huge hit. It checks all the boxes.” 

June made an “ugh” sound and slumped over in her chair. It signaled her defeat to Alex. He couldn’t help but grin as he thought of this song releasing soon. Secretly, he wondered if Henry would listen to it. He could ask June or Nora or even reach out to Pez and Bea, but some things were better left unknown. He wasn’t even sure which answer he’d want to hear as both would hurt in different ways.

They paid their bill and Alex went his separate way from the girls. Thoughts of what Henry might think of the song stuck in his mind. He desperately wanted to know if he would listen to it at all. If Alex was still interesting enough to keep his attention still. 

Upon reaching his apartment, he flung himself onto his bed. Even though he lived alone, he checked the room before pulling out his phone again. He opened up Instagram and switched over accounts to a fake one he had made. He went under Henry’s account and began to look through the most recent posts. Maybe it was a little extra, but he didn’t even want Henry to know he still paid attention to him. After all, Henry never liked any of his posts either despite viewing his stories.

It was better for everyone if Alex kept his true feelings to himself. He watched Henry’s stories from today. The last one was a picture of a girl at some restaurant with him. Alex felt frustration wash over him. He knew he really couldn’t care anymore. He had no true claim over what Henry did, and if he was being honest, Alex had never really had a say.

He quickly texted Zahra what song they wanted for the single, put his phone on airplane mode, and did his best to ignore thoughts of his ex-friend.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song - Bang the Doldrums by Harry Styles


	2. September 3, 2019

September 3, 2019-

As much as Henry doesn’t want to admit it, he’s already listened to the new single of Lone Star too many times. Even though it currently sits at the top of the charts for the third week in a row, Henry has made no effort to avoid it. Hearing Alex’s voice still served as a balm on his healing wounds even after everything. 

The first time he had heard it, it was a total shock to him. 

Even though he still followed Alex, Nora, June, and the band’s official account, there had been no mention of the summer of 2018. They hadn’t given an indication they had anything new coming along until their single was dropped without warning. And then the words themselves. . . well, it was too much for Henry.

One year later, here was this beautiful song. About him of all people. 

Even though Alex wasn’t credited, he would recognize his style anywhere. It was one of the things he had always admired about Alex. His uniqueness would shine through even when they were trying to cover up his talent for some reason. Henry had theories on that, but he would need to circle back to that later.

Henry began the song again and listened carefully. In the first two lines, he already knew it was about him. Alex had left numerous messages in lipstick on his arm when he had to leave for an early call time and Henry was still asleep. At first, he had tried to wash it off and teased Alex that a text would have sufficed. After a while, Henry began showing them off a little more. He knew it turned Alex on at the time and it excited him to bring their secret to the public. 

He listened as the song had also called him a best friend, ex-friend, and lover. Interestingly, Alex labeled him as the best as a lover. It made him blush the first five times he listened to the song as he thought about the things they did. He wondered if there was something in particular that inspired Alex to write that or if it was because things were just the easiest then. 

It was easy to imagine that this was all in the past for Alex. In fact, Henry convinced himself this was nothing but nostalgia for how much fun they had, but he always got caught up on that one line - “And I cast a spell over the east to make you think of me / The same way I think of you”. The first time he heard it, Henry was sure he was making this all up. It was in present tense. Was that intentionally revealing his feelings or just more lyrical? How did he even still think of Henry?

Up until the song’s release, Henry wasn’t even sure if Alex still thought of him at all. Their last interactions were Alex calling to end it and finding out Alex had unfollowed him on everything. In both their private and public lives, Alex had called it quits. 

Now, inexplicably, here Alex was writing a song about him. 

Henry forced himself not to text Alex or reach out to June or Nora. Even though Pez and Bea still talked to them, he very well couldn’t ask them to find out what Alex meant with all of this. 

They never would’ve worked out anyways, but Henry still wishes he knew how Alex really felt. 

He opens his phone to Twitter and Instagram and checks Alex’s accounts to see if he posted anything about the song. 

There’s only a slight hit of disappointment when there’s nothing but a generic post to check out the song. Alex used to post details about the song and what his meaning was. It was one of the ways their fans connected so easily with the band. Alex’s openness about his lyrics just made them feel so relatable. 

Henry remembers when they first started releasing songs. He didn’t know much about the band, but reading Alex’s post about going through his parent’s divorce made Henry feel something. A divorce and losing a parent were not so different after all. It was still the loss of innocence at such a young age. He followed Alex right then and there on his secret, private account. He followed the band’s success up until the People’s Music Awards when he finally met Alex over a year ago. When they were touring together, he didn’t have to wait for those posts. Alex would discuss every lyric he thought of with Henry. He felt like he was in those songs as much as Alex was. 

He felt jaded realizing how far apart they were now. Not even just living on different continents, but Alex had publicly declared their friendship dead. 

They hadn’t spoken in months, but until then, Henry held out some hope that Alex would understand. There was no real way they would ever work out.

Not for the first time, Henry wished he never took a deal with his grandmother’s record label. Alex’s band was also involved in the American branch. To do anything real together, they’d have to risk their entire future and everything they’d both worked so hard for. Henry would never want to take anything away from Alex. Alex though, he was stubborn enough though that he may burn down everything in his path to get what he wants. Henry just wasn’t prepared to be collateral damage. 

If Alex hadn’t broken up with him, well, they were headed there anyways. Henry didn’t have it in him to do it properly. 

He switched over to his messages with Pez. They had been debating back and forth all day about the song and why Alex wasn’t credited as the writer. Even though the song came out weeks ago, Henry hadn’t had the guts to mention his thoughts to anyone about the song. It was Pez in fact who brought it up.

**Pez:**

So are we going to talk about the fact that he wrote a song about you or what…?

And don’t tell me you haven’t listened to it, I heard it playing in your apartment last week when I got there

**Henry:**

I don’t disagree that it’s about me. That’s probably why he isn’t listed as the writer 

**Pez:**

His choice or the managers?

**Henry:**

Both maybe? I know he never wanted anyone to know. The manager probably doesn’t want bad press

**Pez:**

On the contrary, having him listed as the writer would probably draw more attention to the song and its meaning. Everyone wants to know what America’s heartthrob is up to

He knew Pez was probably right. Henry couldn’t decide if he felt guilty or hurt that Alex didn’t want to link himself to Henry anymore. It was probably for the best regardless of how he felt. He just wished Alex could take credit for his brilliant work as always. He deserved the praise that this song was getting.

Putting his phone away, Henry took out his own journal filled with song ideas. He’s been toying with this song idea for a while, but he lacked the courage or inspiration to finish the song until now. 

He didn’t think they were supposed to be writing songs about each other. Or at the very least, not releasing them. Alex was the one breaking the unspoken rules here and Henry was just following his lead. 

There was a chance Alex would never even know anyways. 

Most of this song was written over the last few months. He had been trying to perfectly encapsulate that warmth Alex had always brought with him. It brought light into Henry’s life that no one had been able to do since his father passed away. 

As he thought of the last night they spent together, the final pieces finally fell into place. Fixing up the lines he wrote, “Take me back to the light/ I know you were way too bright for me / I’m hopeless, broken”. 

When they were together, Alex would’ve argued against all of that. He would’ve told Henry how wonderful, talented, and brilliant he is. He would’ve believed Alex then too. 

Instead, he’s left on his own right now wondering if this song would be a hit at all. His self doubt would always win out unless Alex was here to help him fight it off. No matter what Bea and Pez say, Alex is the only one who ever got through to him. 

Alex really is golden to him and probably to the country. He’s America’s heartthrob. A huge up and comer in the music industry. Alex is known for his positivity and kindness, which he credits to his humble Texas upbringing. He was always able to pull Henry from his darkest thoughts and bring his attention back to the present. He’s the only thing that’s even shown that brightly to Henry. 

Really, he ought to have kept Alex a great distance from him. That would’ve been the safer and smarter thing to do. Instead, Henry played with fire, which is why he’s currently still moping around his apartment all alone. 

He finishes double checking the lyrics and sends off a text to Pez and Bea for their approval. They seem to like it and make plans to meet for a recording time next week. 

Henry spends the rest of the day strictly playing his Bowie playlist. He needs to focus his attention on something else or he’ll never get anything else accomplished. He cooks, reads, cares for David, and calls Pez. He feels exhausted by the time he can climb into bed.

His phone suddenly buzzes a notification and he can’t help but check it. The Instagram notification tells him Alex just went live on his story. Like the addict Henry is, he joins and watches. When he enters the chat, Alex is mentioning something about their new song. Henry _swears_ Alex stuttered when his username popped up. 

He still doesn’t give much more context to the song, but he promises everyone that the band’s new album “Burned” is dropping soon. Something about the album title twists in Henry’s gut. He wonders if the rest of the album will include similar songs to their single, but like everyone else, he will just have to wait and find out. 

Henry watches the entire thirty minute long live and can’t decide if it’s because he’s a masochist or not. He couldn’t turn away from Alex with his dark brown curls bouncing and eyes that looked golden and a voice as smooth as honey. He still wanted Alex as much as ever if he was being honest with himself. 

It was all his fault that he was in this mess. Henry should’ve known better and just stayed away from him at the award’s ceremony. If he had just done what he was supposed to do, he wouldn’t be sitting here missing someone he hadn’t spoken to in a year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song - Golden by Harry Styles


	3. April 15, 2018

April 15, 2018

Alex was incredibly excited and honored to be invited to the Star Music Awards for 2018. He and the girls had just released their first album earlier that year and were still waiting on feedback from the record about a contract. Despite the positive feedback from fans and artists, he still couldn’t help but feel nervous.

They were on the verge of what could be their big break. 

Meeting the right connections tonight could certainly help them get pulled onto a tour as an opener. It could allow them to meet with different agents, publicists, managers, and record labels. It was all about networking for them tonight, which thankfully, was right up Alex’s alley. 

He limited himself to only a glass of champagne and a single beer. He didn’t want to seem unprofessional and intoxicated or completely sober and boring. Having a drink on him propelled him into many casual conversations throughout the night.

He spoke with Zahra again, who he desperately wanted to work with. She had a great reputation for helping out new bands. She always knew how to present them to win over the fans. She was upfront, brutal, and honest - all things Alex needed to keep himself grounded in this industry. 

When she said she wanted to meet June and Nora, Alex was thrilled. It seemed like she was taking an interest in them as her next project. He found the girls and introduced them. They had decided to split Alex off while the girls stayed together to make more connections. 

After the red carpet entrances ended, they sat for the awards. Their band wasn’t up for any awards anymore, but they had received an honorable mention for breakout artist of the year. It was still huge in his opinion to receive such great recognition so early in his career.

The biggest award for tonight was for song of the year. Everyone assumed Henry Fox would surely win it with his song, “007”. It broke records for downloads in an hour. Alex couldn’t remember the last time he had turned on a radio and not heard this song in the first 15 minutes. It’s popularity didn’t fade throughout the first few months either. Alex is certain it’s still on the top charts today.

Nora said that Henry had an 87% chance of winning best song for tonight. She also thought he had a 65% chance at winning artist of the year, but it depends on how much they want to diversify the awards apparently. 

Alex hoped he got the chance to meet Henry. He had been following Henry’s career for as long as he can remember. He still has a CD of Henry’s album “Reflections” somewhere in his apartment. He seemed like a cool guy based off of his interviews at least.

When the time came for the awards, Nora correctly guessed that Henry would win both categories. Alex watched as he went up to the stage to accept his awards. 

Alex thought Henry looked slightly nervous as he adjusted the microphone on the stand. It’s kind of funny considering Henry must be used to playing in front of audiences triple the size of this crowd by now. Henry clears his throat and begins his speech.

“I want to start by thanking everyone who has supported me because I wouldn’t be standing here without any of you. Mom and dad, your encouragement inspired me to write songs that challenged me to share with the world. Bea, without your killer bass, we both know these songs would fall flat. To Shaan, thank you for guiding me through this intimidating industry. And finally, to Pez, your flair has given these songs everything it needed to succeed. I’m so grateful that you all enjoyed my song. It’s a true honor to share it with you all tonight.” And with that, Henry nodded once and left the stage. 

It was a decent speech; however, when Alex compared it to his previous speeches and interviews, it fell a little flat. There was no Henry Fox sparkle in it. He seemed eager to get off of the stage quickly. He also noticed he left out his brother in the comments, which was unusual because Henry normally mentioned something about each of his family members. 

When they finally broke up to socialize again, Alex was moving from group to group with ease. He lost count of the amount of times he’d given out his phone number to different people. If June and Nora had as much success as he was having, they were going to be swamped with offers from people wanting to work with them. 

He was just about to take a break from socializing and go find the girls when he spotted him. Henry Fox was standing off to the side speaking to someone. A manager maybe? 

Alex walked over to congratulate him on his award as well as finally introduce himself to one of his idols.

The conversation between Henry and the man stopped as Alex approached. They both looked at him, Henry with confusion and the man with curiosity. 

“Hi! I’m Alex,” he said as he stuck his hand out. Henry barely shook it before dropping his hand. The man then shook it with a firm handshake. “I just wanted to come over and congratulate you Henry. You really deserve it, man.”

Henry crossed his arms and looked down on Alex before responding, “Thank you. And who do you represent?”

Alex felt his grin slip, he wasn’t as well known as Henry, but he hoped Henry would recognize him somehow. “I’m the lead singer for Lone Star.”

“Oh,” an expression Alex couldn’t read crossed over Henry’s face. It looked something like shock mixed with recognition. Henry nodded before continuing, “Yes, of course. Well, thank you and good luck to you, but you’ll have to excuse me I was just leaving.” He offered a slight smile to Alex and picked up his jacket.

Alex watched as Henry turned to the man and whispered, not that quietly, “Shaan, can you get rid of him?” 

Henry quickly stalked off without looking back. The man then turned to him, “Alex, I’m Shaan, Henry’s manager. Nice to meet you.”

He tried to smile again, but it just felt hollow after being rejected by Henry. He knew he wasn’t as famous, but there still wasn’t a reason to be so rude. 

Alex tried to turn the Texas charm back on and offered Shaan his business card. Feeling a bit bitter, Alex sat out of socializing for the next half hour. He later found June and Nora and begged them to leave. 

He’d endured rejection before, but it truly stung coming from Henry. He had looked up to him as another young and successful musician. Alex thought maybe he would be a good mentor or something, but now he just thought the guy was a coward and a dick.

They finally left and Nora drove them home. The girls dropped Alex off at his apartment and said they’d text him tomorrow with plans. He got into his apartment, un-tied his bowtie, and went out on the balcony to sit. 

Alex was furious at himself for getting so upset. He let his emotions get in the way of the band networking. All because he was annoyed over Henry fucking Fox. The entire encounter was awkward and rude. Nothing at all like he expected from the man who made such emotional music and was always posting thoughtful things. 

He poured himself a glass of whiskey to hopefully calm himself down and get some sleep. 

Unfortunately, he couldn’t stop thinking about the small smile Henry had offered him. How great Henry had looked all night. How much of a dick he was that he asked Shaan to get rid of him. As if Alex would’ve hung around. He just wanted to offer congratulations. How could anyone be rude over that?

His phone buzzed with another Instagram notification. He’d been getting tagged in a ton of things because of his appearance that night. What he saw though made him drop his phone.

“@henryfoxofficial began following you 30s ago” stares up at him from the notification box. Alex thinks there’s no way this can be real. 

Sure enough, under his following tab now includes Henry Fox with a blue checkmark next to it. 

_ Does someone else run the account? _ Alex wonders. He can’t think of a single reason why Henry Fox would be prompted to follow his account after their encounter. He seemed borderline rude and uninterested the entire time even though it was just a short conversation. 

His thoughts kept him awake the rest of the night. He went through all the people he had met that night but his thoughts always circle back to Henry Fox.


	4. May 31, 2018

May 31, 2018

If there’s one thing Henry knows, it’s that he is incredibly stupid. 

If there’s a second thing he knows, it’s that Alex Claremont-Diaz is devastatingly attractive. And talented and thoughtful. And that it makes Henry so weak.

When a spot opens up on the Sunkiss Tour, Shaan approaches Henry with a list of potential bands. Henry isn’t the director of this tour, but this close to the start date, they’d need help pulling strings to fill the spot. As one of the headliners, Henry certainly had the connections to help bring someone in.

The band “Starlight” dropped out when the lead singer developed laryngitis that just wouldn’t go away. They claimed it was a blessing to focus on their song writing instead. 

So, Shaan mentions that the band list, Henry intently listens for one specific band name. He reads through what must be ten or fifteen bands before he mentions “Lone Star”. 

“Pick them,” he said without hesitation.

Shaan’s face expresses his surprise but says, “Well, I know their manager, Zahra, I’m sure we can arrange that.”

Henry regrets his decision almost immediately, but the rational part of his brain makes justifications for him. He calmly says, “Their new songs have been at the top of the charts for weeks. June’s Instagram account has been gaining new followers at an exponential rate. They fit with the rest of the bands. It’s the right choice.”

Shaan nods, “Yeah, they’ll do great.” 

He paused before leaving. Henry wondered if he wanted to comment on his choice a little more. Although he had now publicly followed Alex’s account, Shaan had witnessed the icy meeting between the two men. Something about Alex had always intrigued him though and he wanted to learn more ever since he first read the post Alex wrote about his parent’s divorce.

Henry goes over the reasons in his mind again. It makes sense for them to be offered the spot. No one will think it out of place. Even though he did just request a band with a certain man who interests him, no one will know.

Shaan later informs him that the band has accepted and is set to arrive tomorrow. The bands will all get their schedules for the weeks moving forward. They usually have different set times throughout the day and have to travel most nights between cities. It’s absolutely insane, but Henry loves it.

It also means weeks spent with just Bea and Pez spent by his side. There’s little time to do interviews, so he’s not stuck in awkward interviews. He doesn’t have to listen to Philip or his grandmother talk about ridiculous things.

The only thing that’s different this year is his dad being gone. Even though it had been 16 months, Henry had taken a hiatus from tours like this. All of his tour dates had been spread out last year with time to move and change things last minute depending on how they were all handling it. Some days, it’s still a struggle for him. 

The award’s ceremony was one of them, but thankfully, Henry had this tour to focus on preparing for. 

The next day, all of the bands finish checking in. He tries to be nonchalant as he looks for Alex, but he doesn’t spot him anywhere. Of course, as soon as he returns to his room, Alex posts a story from the check in line. Henry decides to just rest the remainder of the day and plan the setlist for their performance tomorrow night. As he checks their stage call time again, he notices Alex is performing right before him. 

Henry wonders what seeing them play live is like. Their posts and music videos make their music seem explosive. It elicits a reaction one way or another. It’s the first band he’s felt a real connection to in a while. He plans to catch some of their performances before he has to be ready backstage.

The next day he meets with Pez and Bea to plan their setlist. They plan their opening with Henry’s most popular song before switching to some of their older songs and finally ending with “Heaven”. He and Bea plan to dedicate this performance to their dad so it seems fitting. 

His hands ache to text his dad for good luck. Being a performer too, he always knew how to calm Henry down before big shows. Instead, he tries to text his mom, but unsurprisingly, she doesn’t answer him back. 

As the hours towards their call time creeps forward, he goes through his entire wardrobe. It’s opening night so he wants to go all out. He picks out a deep blue shirt with golden thread woven through. He knows it’ll catch the light just right on him. He puts some product in his hair and messes around with it for a while.

Eventually, he works his way to the wings and catches part of Lone Star’s performance. He’s not sure what he expected, but it certainly wasn’t Alex twerking on stage as the band covered “Get Low”. After the chorus, Alex straightens up and laughs into the microphone. It’s the most wonderful sound Henry has ever heard. The rest of the band seems to quiet as they slowly transition to their next song.

“Y’all know I’m just messing around. I do love that song, but I have my own I want to share. This next one is one I’ve been working on for a while about my hometown in Texas. Before you ask, no, this is not a country song.”

Henry’s instantly mesmerized by the song before the first verse even finishes. He knows it’ll be a top hit for weeks. 

Alex also looks so radiant on stage, Henry can’t look away. His performance makes Henry feel more alive than he’s ever been. All of Alex’s songs are filled with warmth, positivity, and determination. They’re a sharp contrast to Henry’s angst-filled songs he’s about to play.

He rejoins Bea and Pez backstage as they wait for Lone Star to finish up. Pez gives them a pep talk to get them excited to perform and Bea clutches Henry’s hand until it’s showtime. 

Suddenly, Henry’s being gently pushed onto the stage by Shaan telling them it’s time to go. Bea and Pez don’t miss a beat, but it takes Henry a second to remember their setlist. The rest of the program goes off without a hitch. It’s a solid performance for opening night. 

After the show, Pez and Bea return back to the dressing room right away. It’s his responsibility tonight to oversee that their instruments get placed appropriately and safely. When their items are all taken care of, he heads back to join them. Luckily, this year the tour created small pop up dressing rooms for all of the bands. It allows Henry to feel less suffocated by the other bands as the three of them can claim this space without interruption.

He’s rounding the corner before the dressing room when he runs right into someone. He trips and falls to the side and brings the other person down with him. 

A familiar sounding voice says, “Hey watch it!”

Henry turns his head slightly in disbelief as he realized Alex was the one on top of him. He felt himself blush, but Alex was too busy trying to push himself off of Henry to notice.

“You ran into me,” Henry said weakly.

Finally, Alex is able to roll off of Henry and onto the floor next to him. He hears Alex scoff before he responds, “You dragged me down!”

Henry just shrugs. This is not how he wanted this conversation to go. He hoped he’d see Alex sometime later on the tour and could mention that he liked his songs or their 

Alex mumbles something like “inconsiderate jerk” as he finally lifts himself off of the ground. He stares down at Henry and gives him a dirty look. Did running into someone by accident really warrant such a reaction? Henry hadn’t been overly friendly when they first met, but he had been polite.

The hour he just spent on stage seems to be wearing his patience thin because he snaps, “What did you just call me?”

Alex stills and straightens up. The look of disdain doesn’t leave his face as he says, “You heard me. Running around like you own the place. Too important for anyone else.”

Henry wants to tell him the only reason Alex is here is because of him. Wanting to avoid a huge fight on the first night he says, “I’d love to know how I gave you that impression. I’m here to perform just like you.”

Alex smirks before saying, “And telling your manager to get rid of me doesn’t scream dramatic primadonna?” 

Henry feels like someone punched him. He feels the air drain faster from his lungs than when he was belting his lyrics out on stage. Brilliantly, his mind supplies, “Oh. . . you heard that?”

Alex rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, “I think you’re missing the point.” With that, Alex stomps off down the hallway. 

Henry watches him walk away but decides against going after him. They have the whole summer for Henry to explain himself, if he decides to. He returns to his dressing room where Bea and Pez are waiting for him.

They greet him with a hug and somehow Pez already has a bottle of champagne ready to celebrate their opening night. 

Pez turns to pour him a glass and asks him if there was any difficulty with set breakdown.

“No everything’s fine. Do we have any plans for the night?” Henry asks. 

Pez smiles in a way Henry instantly knows there is a girl involved. “Well, actually, I met June Claremont-Diaz earlier. We’re gonna meet up with them for drinks along with the Heartbreakers.”

Henry turns so they can’t see his face. He tries to act casually as he walks over towards his street clothes. “Oh, great,” he lets out with mild enthusiasm. 

Pez pushes him to get ready so they can go meet up with the others. He’s going on and on about how she’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. Bea chimes in about how funny Nora is and how great their set was today. All Henry can focus on is that he will be spending the night with Alex.

He regrets not clearing the air with him just now. Now, they’ll be forced to hang out all night with all of their friends as everyone drank to celebrate the tour. It’s a recipe for an even bigger fight. It’s definitely not drama Henry needs or wants in his life. 

He sighs to himself as he plans out how to explain to Alex why he acted like a dick without giving everything away. He doesn’t owe him anything, but he wants Alex to understand. Alex still intrigues Henry. He wants to learn more about the man who is writing such incredible songs. They make him feel drawn to Alex in a way he can’t explain. 

He stares at himself in the mirror and plans what he’s going to tell Alex later. He hopes it’s not too late for them to be acquaintances. It would be a long summer with a feud involved. 

He cleans up all of his things and leaves the dressing room with Pez and Bea. If they’ve noticed how quiet Henry is, they don’t mention it. His mind is still stuck on Alex. 


	5. October 6, 2019

October 6, 2019

Alex is thankful they’re returning to the studio again only a few months after releasing their new album. It means things went very well and the label wants them to keep on going. Liam Kerr, a longtime friend of Alex’s approached him about doing a collab together. 

He wrote this song called “Closer” but felt like he needed a strong female voice and another male voice mixed in to make it work. The first time he read the lyrics, Alex knew he was in. They hit a little too personal with him, but that’s what all of his songs were like. It was very on brand and the song was killer. 

One thing that got him about the song was a certain pet name used. Even though he didn’t write the song, Alex still felt wrong somehow singing “so, baby, pull me closer/ in the backseat of your rover”. 

Just saying that one small word pulled Alex back to the previous summer. 

That word had become somewhat sacred between him and Henry. He only called Henry baby at their most intimate moments. He saw how Henry reacted and that he blossomed under Alex’s words. He never intended to use the word in any of his songs again because of that attachment; however, these weren’t his words. 

It also perfectly expressed how he feels about Henry. That he was better off before being hurt so badly by him. And some days, Alex did really forget why things ended between them. 

He wondered if Henry would listen to the song. Even if he did, Alex would never know his thoughts about it. 

Regardless of his concerns, Alex would never pass up a chance to work with Liam either. They never got to see each other anymore since going their separate ways musically. Liam was a solo artist, but Alex loved working with the girls. Liam was always so confident on his own, but Alex needed to know people had his back. Alex put his heart on the line with every song he sings, and sometimes, he needs people willing to pick up the pieces. 

After a recording session, he and Liam head off to a happy hour. They only have another week or so of working on the song, so Alex demands they spend as much time together as they can. 

They walk into a bar that offers a self-serve wall of beer. It’s Alex’s favorite to try as many different things as he wants. He grabs them each a glass and wristband to track their drinks. 

Alex studies each beer option before electing to start off with a sour beer. Liam picks an IPA. They grab a seat at a high top table and each take a sip before Liam goes, “So, are we going to talk about it?”

Confused, Alex lifts a brow, “About what?” He lifts the glass to take another sip.

“How Henry totally just released a song about you.”

Alex makes an effort not to spit out his drink all over the table. He steadies himself before asking, “What the fuck? He did not.”

Liam smirks, “Didn’t you listen to his latest song? Come on, dude. It’s obvious.”

“You know I haven’t listened to any of his songs since that summer.”

He knew Henry recently released a song called “Golden”; however, Alex decided to ignore its existence. He doesn’t want to be part of the hype about Henry. In fact, he wishes he didn’t have to hear about him at all. That’s the point of following him on a secret account. He can pay attention to Henry when he wants.

Liam digs through his pocket and pulls out an Airpods set. He opens his phone up to the music app and pulls up, “Golden” by The Royals - Henry’s band. Notably, Henry is listed as the songwriter.

He slides the both over to Alex and says, “Well, you might want to listen to this one.”

Alex wants to refuse but his curiosity gets the best of him. He puts the earbuds in and hits play. The opening notes are light and hopeful and he’s instantly drawn in. This is the reason he’s avoided Henry’s music for so long - once he listens, it’s hard to stop. And listening means thinking of Henry and all of their memories. Of the private concerts he and Henry gave each other while on tour together. Of covering for each other in shows when they got tired. Of just being there for each other as friends, lovers, and confidants. 

As badly as he wishes it was about him, there’s nothing convincing. Sure, Henry said something before about feeling like Alex was the light. He’d jokingly compared Alex to Apollo and himself to Icarus, a man who fell in love with the sun. 

There wasn’t anything as damning as Alex’s lyrics had been. 

The song finished out and he just responded, “I don’t know, man. Could’ve been about anyone.”

“Okay, let’s go through this. Henry has only produced depressing songs since your split. You release that song that was totally about him by the way - you’re not subtle at all. And a month later, he releases this uplifting song about loving someone he thought was too good for him.”

“Yes, and?”

Liam slaps a hand onto the table in frustration. “Don’t you think this screams like it’s a response? He hasn’t even been rumored to be dating anyone in over a year.”

Alex winces. The evidence all points to yes. What Liam claims makes absolutely perfect sense. It’s also such a Henry Fox move. 

“Ugh, fine. Maybe you’re right.” Liam grins in victory. Alex continues with, “What do I do about it though?”

His question makes Liam’s face drop into a neutral expression. He seems to be considering Alex’s statement. “That’s all on you my friend. If it were me, I would reach out to him.”

“Like you did with Spencer?” Alex challenges. He fully knows that this particular song is about his ex-boyfriend, Spencer. 

Liam takes a huge gulp from his beer before responding. He shrugs and then adds, “Well, maybe I’m hoping he’ll reach out after this.”

Alex knocks their glasses together and they each chug the rest of its contents. They each refill on a different beer before sitting back down. This time, they discuss anything but their ex-boyfriends. 

When they leave slightly buzzed, they’re hanging all over each other. Liam comes back to his place and they order some take out. Alex opens a few bottles of Sol to go along with the food. Liam’s so drunk that he elects to sleepover on Alex’s couch. 

It’s nights like this that Alex needs with his best friend. They erase any thoughts of Henry from his mind temporarily. He wishes Liam would’ve stayed in the band all those years ago when he split to go solo. 

Alex wonders what he ever did that chased Henry and Liam away from him. He knows he’s a lot to handle, but he was always loyal to them. He’s beyond thankful that Liam’s come back to him again. That their friendship is better than ever. He doubts Henry ever will, but some part of his heart hopes that Henry will find his way back too.


	6. November 20, 2019

November 20, 2019

It shouldn’t upset Henry, but it did. He’s with Pez the first time he hears the song. They’re in Pez’s car blasting the top hits. One of their songs just finished playing and even though his songs have been popular for years, it’s still a rush.

The announcer says the next song is a new release from Liam Kerr featuring his old friends, Lone Star. His stomach lurches, but he doesn’t change the station. His hands grip onto his knees tightly.

Liam’s voice has always been strong and soothing, but it doesn’t pull him in the same way Alex’s does. He can hear a mix of Liam, June, and Alex in the song. He knows the song will be a hit, but he can’t help but wonder if Alex singing the whole thing would’ve made it better.

He’s just about to compliment the song to Pez when it happens.

Alex sings, “So, baby, pull me closer in the backseat of your Rover.”

He freezes in his seat. Even though the song continues, Henry can think of nothing else. He can feel the frown forming on his face, but he doesn’t dare look over at Pez.

He can feel Pez’s eyes on him, but he just stares straight ahead.

When the song finishes, Pez quietly says, “June is still such a goddess.”

Henry tries to smile and put on a brave face for Pez. He agrees, “Yeah, she really is.”

He knows Pez has wanted to collaborate with June for sometime now. He still has a crush on her, but he won’t do anything about it until Henry can get over Alex. He appreciates his friend’s loyalty, but it makes him feel guilty. 

“You should contact her about being featured in a song,” Henry tries to offer. 

Now Pez is the one frowning. “Maybe for the right project. She just texted me an idea she had the other day.”

He knew they still texted, but Henry tried not to pry much. He knew Pez likely knew what Alex was up to and if he was dating someone, but Henry didn’t want to know. 

“I think Bea would have fun with it too,” Henry added. His sister also still talked to both June and Nora frequently. He would enjoy seeing both of them if it didn’t come with also seeing Alex again. Even though it had been a year, he still hadn’t recovered much from their break up. 

Pez nodded and said, “Let’s see if we can make it happen then.”

He thought about the song all day. He wondered how much Alex had played in the lyrics. Alex had saved the nickname “baby” for their most intimate times together. He thought it had been something special for Alex too, but maybe that had been a lie. 

Maybe it had all been a lie.

Later that night, an alert went off on Henry’s phone. It was a notification or the Daily Mail even though Henry never subscribed to it. 

“Are Alex Claremont Diaz and Liam Kerr the new power couple of the music industry?”

Below was a picture of Alex and Liam leaving a bar together. Alex had his arm slung over Liam’s shoulder. Unable to stop himself, Henry read through the article.

“ _The music industry’s favorite singers seem to be getting closer than ever before. After releasing their new top hit “Closer” we have to wonder, who is the song really about? Claremont-Diaz and Kerr were spotted leaving the bar together and headed back towards CD’s apartment. Kerr was spotted leaving the area the following morning. With steamy lyrics like “I forget just why I left you, I was insane” begs the question, did Kerr write this about Claremont Diaz? The couple previously worked together and were long time friends from Texas. Fast forward to now, they’re releasing a romantic song together. Only time will tell if they’re really dating however. . .”_

Henry felt himself hyperventilating and forced himself to take a deep breath. He clutched his phone tightly in his hand, and his whole body began to shake.

Maybe he had been all wrong. Maybe Alex had moved on from him. It wasn’t that unreasonable of a claim as Alex and Liam had already hooked up before. Alex had detailed their relationship to Henry. 

He thought back to their latest song. It’s entirely possible that Alex is now calling Liam, baby. It’s entirely possible that Henry thought their relationship was more special and intimate than it had really been. Maybe he had made it all up.

It makes something inside of him crack. 

Henry forgot Pez was still there and shook himself from these thoughts.

“You know, you and Bea should go work on something with June,” he suggests again.

Pez is looking at Henry with concern. He hesitates before responding, “What about you?”

Henry shakes his head, “You all are brilliant. I am certain whatever you come up with will be a hit.”

When Pez and Bea take a trip in two weeks to see June, Henry begins writing a solo song. It’s filled with more angst perhaps than anything he’s ever written. Feeling bored and lonely, he drags himself to the studio. He just wants to record it - not release it.

When he reaches the end of the song he feels himself tear up as he sings, “Don't you call him baby / We're not talking lately / Don't you call him what you used to call me.”

He barely manages to finish the song before he breaks out in tears. He’s thankful that no one else is here with him. In the comfort of the recording booth, Henry collects himself. After several deep breaths, he feels ready and sings the song again. He does it again and again until he stops wanting to break down after. 

Even though the song speaks directly to Alex, he knows it’s unlikely Alex will ever hear it. Or respond for that matter. For that reason, he submits the song to Shaan. It’s the most personal song he’s ever recorded, but he doesn’t even care what happens to it. Not when it won’t do anything to help him get Alex back.

He leaves the studio feeling relieved for a moment. After putting everything out there in his song today, he feels a weight lifted off his shoulder. He doesn’t need to grieve their lost relationship anymore. Or at least for now. 

If Shaan released it, Alex could hear it and would know how Henry felt. It was still more cowardly than just calling him up, but it was as brave as Henry could afford for now.

-

**iMessage:**

**Shaan: I am releasing that song as a solo EP. Brilliant work**


	7. June 1, 2018

June 1, 2018

When Alex learned that Henry would be drinking with him that night, Alex decided to become systematically inebriated to tolerate his presence. He ignored the concerned (and annoyed) looks June and Nora were giving him. After three drinks in thirty minutes, June pulled the bottles away from Alex. 

She warned him, “You’re going to make us look bad on the first night.” 

“Aw come on, June. No one will mind.”

“They’re the tour headliners. If you piss them off or embarrass us, they can kick us off.”

Nora nodded, agreeing with June as usual. He never won when those two teamed up on him, which was always. Luckily, he still felt that warm sensation from alcohol leak through his body. He felt it taking over his senses and lifting him from his bad mood.

What Nora and June had miscalculated was how pleasant he became when drunk. It pushed him to be the life of the party. He felt himself smiling and laughing more at their conversation. He found a stray beer bottle and began sipping on it.

Sometime later, Bea, Pez, and Henry eventually showed up. He tried to ignore Henry as best he could and began chatting up Bea. 

They’re just having a friendly conversation about their preferred concert venues when Alex glances around the room. His eyes catch Henry’s, who is just glaring at him from across the room. 

He’s not sure what possessed him to do it, but he politely excuses himself from talking to Bea and walks over to Henry. He’s abandoning all plans of ignoring him because Alex just has to know, what’s Henry’s issue with him?

He walks right up to him and stands maybe a foot away from him. He’s not giving Henry a chance to escape this time. 

“Hello, Henry,” Alex greets him with.

“Alex, you’ve been drinking I see.”

He takes a sip of his beer in response. He looks up at Henry and says, “So, what’s your next plan? Going to try and kick me off the tour?”

Henry had the audacity to look surprised by his question, “Why would I do that?”

Alex rolls his eyes, “It’s obvious you can’t stand me.”

The blond continued to look confused and waited for Alex to elaborate. Alex sighs and continues, “Let’s see, you’ve been glaring at me all night, you pushed me down in the hallway, and you told your manager to get rid of me at the awards ceremony. Makes it pretty obvious.”

“You heard that?” Henry asks with some panic in his voice.

“Missing the point here. So, tell me Henry, what’s your problem with me?” He’s right up in Henry’s face now. He watches the look of panic in Henry’s eyes but he can’t stop now; Alex has to know. When Henry didn’t answer he continued, “Is it because my lyrics aren’t as mature? Is it because I like making jokes on stage? Is it because I admitted Star Wars inspired songs on my first album?”

Alex had essentially pinned Henry against the wall at this point and would wait until he got a response. Henry began to splutter, “No, er, um, I don’t have a problem. I er, suggested adding your band to the tour. I also happen to like Star Wars.”

“You what?” Alex almost shouts in surprise. No way that Henry, who had been glaring at him all night, liked their band. No way that this man was responsible for giving Alex the biggest opportunity of their lives. 

“Who doesn't like Star Wars? Of course I like it.” Henry huffed.

“No, no the other thing.” Alex dropped his hands aside and took a step back. More calmly he questioned, “You got my band on the tour?”

Henry crossed his arms and responded, “No, I only recommended your band. I had no control over the actual invite.”

“Oh,” was Alex’s brilliant response. 

Their eyes locked for a second before Alex felt himself asking, “What’s your favorite Star Wars movie?”

“Jedi of course.”

Alex rolled his eyes and laughed, “You are so wrong.”

“How can I be wrong about my own opinion?” Henry questioned.

“We have the whole summer. When we have downtime, we will watch all of Star Wars and I’ll explain to you just then how wrong you are.”

Henry’s lips turned into a small smile and he nodded. “Okay, deal.”

“So truce?” Alex asked as he stuck out his hand. Henry shook it and clasped Alex on the back. 

With that resolved, Alex got himself another drink. Alex began to mingle with some other members of various bands who had shown up. Wherever he went, he noticed Henry was either right beside him or just hanging back. He found himself not minding the extra company. Henry made some witty comments and told a story about Pez that was so funny Alex spit out his drink. 

The rest of the night was a little hazy but Alex just remembers laughing and drinking a lot with Henry alongside him.

  
  


____________________________________

Alex wasted absolutely no time in proving his point to Henry. They had played another show since that night they made a truce. They were about to embark on a four hour bus ride to their next stop. Already having packed his laptop, Alex walked onto the bus for the Royals. He peaked in and was impressed with how much nicer the set up was. He planned to spend more time here just for that.

Pez noticed him first and waved him in. “Hey babes, what are you doing here?”

“Looking for Henry,” Alex said. It came out like a question but Pez smiled. He pointed towards the back. There was a curtain hanging up back there, so Alex couldn’t see beyond it. “You can go on back there. He won’t care.”

Alex took a step towards the back with his bag. He was a few steps away from Pez when he called out, “Hey, if you’re going back there, does that mean a space is open on your bus?”

He nodded, “I guess so. We were going to watch a movie.”

Pez grabbed his bag and headed for the bus doors. Alex wondered which girl Pez was going to visit, but he figured they would tell him later.

He walked back until he reached the curtain. He wasn’t sure if he should open it or call out to Henry. Suddenly, he felt nervous about his plan. Alex couldn’t help but think back to the first time Henry had rejected him. He tried to call out Henry, but there was no answer. After a minute with no answer, he slowly pulled back the curtain. 

Behind the curtain was perhaps the most luxurious set up anyone could achieve for the back of a band bus. Henry had somehow turned his space into a small theater area. He had a futon set up near his bed and a small monitor mounted on the wall. There were a few shelves holding some books and his things. 

Henry had been reclining on his bed with earbuds in watching what looked like Pride and Prejudice. He quickly pulled them out and paused the movie. Alex watched the pink flush take over Henry’s face. 

“Oh, Alex. Hello.”

Alex reached for his bag, “Hey, thought you might want to watch Star Wars together. You know, start our marathon?”

Henry quirked an eyebrow, “And get lectured on how wrong my opinion is.”

It sounded a little sharp. Maybe Henry hadn’t been sincere in wanting to make a truce. Unsure of what to do, he stood there until Henry prompted him to move.

Henry slid over and waved Alex over, “Well, come on then. Better get started.” 

Alex hooked up his laptop to the monitor with an HDMI cord and they began watching. One movie turns into two and then turns into three. Sometime in the middle of “Revenge of the Sith” Alex falls asleep on Henry’s shoulder. It’s a complete accident but when he makes up, groggy and disoriented, to a soft smile on Henry’s face as he stares at the screen.

He prays he didn’t drool on Henry’s shirt. He tries not to sigh in relief when he finds none.

“Have a nice nap did you?” Henry teased. “I thought you wanted to watch these.”

Alex straightened up, “I do! I do. They’re my favorite. Honestly, I just haven’t been sleeping well and your setup is way more comfortable.”

“Well, you’re welcome here anytime.” Henry offered, “This tour gets a little exhausting after a while.”

“Good because I still need to convince you why you’re wrong. Next we’re watching Harry Potter.”

Henry chuckled, “Only if you want to listen to me rant about how Remus Lupin is gay.”

“Now this I gotta hear,” Alex said. 

As he said that, the bus came to a rolling stop. He and Henry peaked out the window and somehow they were at their next stop already.

“Maybe when we drive to New Mexico in a few days?” Henry offered.

“Definitely,” Alex smiled. He forced himself to get up and go rejoin Nora and June. He gave Henry one last smile and walked out of their bus. 

  
  


_________________________________________________________________________

A few days it had become clear that the new travel arrangements were permanent. Alex walked up to Henry’s bus with an armful of snacks and passed Pez in the aisle way. He heard footsteps exiting the bus and watched as Pez hurried over to take Alex’s seat.

After completing their Star Wars marathon, they moved on to the first Harry Potter movie. 

Once they reached  _ The Prisoner of Azkaban _ , Alex could quote the movie line for line. He did it randomly until he saw Henry watching him with amusement. When he tried to apologize, Henry laughed and told him to “please continue”. When the movie ended, Henry went on his full rant about the sexuality of Remus Lupin.

When they neared their next stop, Alex google searched for authentic Mexican restaurants in the area. He found a place called Los Bastardos and told Henry he was coming with him. As soon as the buses stopped, they uber-ed to the restaurant. 

Once they sat down, Alex watched Henry pour over the menu. He leaned in and asked, “Do you trust me?”

Henry peered up from the menu at him and said, “Always.”

Alex reached for the menu and took it from Henry. When the waiter came, he ordered in Spanish for them. Their food came on piled high on brightly colored ceramic plates. 

He teased Henry for the blush in his face from the spicy foods. His cheeks reddened as the meal went on. When they left, the sunset over the town looked fantastic. Alex couldn’t help but take a picture of the cars passing by bathed in the beautiful sunset. 

When they got back to their buses, he wasn’t sure how to part ways with Henry. He gave him a weird fist bump and turned to walk to his bus. 

“See you tomorrow,” he called out to Henry.

He got back to the bus and was greeted with June and Nora asking where he’d been all day. He waved them off and headed to his bed. 

He laid down and went to his private Instagram. He edited the picture from earlier and captioned it  “Amazing New Mexico sunset. It’s all orange and pink above us. Thankful for Los Bastardos and my new friend from The Royals.”

After he hit send, Henry sent him a link of another restaurant that was a British pub. The following text read, “Here, same time tomorrow?”

He responded “yes” before rolling over in his bed and fell asleep. 


	8. December 10, 2019

December 10, 2019-

“And on the Today Show this morning we are so fortunate to have Lone Star;” the announcer says. 

The trio walks out onto the small stage in front of hundreds of screaming fans. It’s freezing out this morning and Alex can’t believe they waited out here all morning for him. Well, for the band, but still. He’s thrilled to see their fans’ dedication. He smiles widely for all of them and immediately gets on the mic.

“I promise I will autograph as much as I can after the show. First, we have some great new music we are so excited to share with you guys!”

They decided on playing three songs for the little concert. Around this time of year, most bands usually did a Christmas song, but Lone Star always liked to go a different route. 

The three of them had decided they were each allowed to pick one song - no arguments against it. So settled into the opening beats of “Not This Time” which had been June’s pick. The fans were louder now if that was even possible. They were all holding up giant posters that Alex wanted to read, but didn’t let himself get distracted by.

After the song ended, they switched into playing “Believer” that Nora had picked. Alex enjoyed this song, but Nora was convinced it would be the most popular out of the three they were playing today. 

Ironically, even though they had said no arguments, both girls protested Alex’s song choice. It was nothing new, and like every other time, there was no changing his mind.

They settled into the chords of their brand new song “Fourth of July”. It was faster and more upbeat than the other two songs. Unexpectedly, when Alex starts singing, “You and I were, you and I were fire.’ He feels himself getting a little emotional. He fights to keep his voice strong and steady and his face stoic as he performs. The line repeats again as he sings, “you and I were fire, fire fireworks / that went off too soon/ And I miss you in the June gloom too.”

He couldn’t help think of the countless hours they spent together that June. They watched endless amounts of movies, held tons of debates over their favorites, and shared many secrets. Of course he missed Henry.

The song continues and he sings, “You are my favorite ‘what if’ / you are my best ‘I’ll never know’” which makes his heart clench. He can’t even begin to count the number of times he’s thought about the future he and Henry could’ve had. It was the best time of his life, how was he supposed to stop thinking about it?

Finally, near the end of the song, he confesses, “I’m sorry every song’s about you.” If by chance Henry ever sees this, he will know. Without a doubt, this would confirm the running pattern in Alex’s lyrics lately. He can’t seem to get away from Henry. And he doesn’t want to.

He wants what they had. Even if he technically ended things, that was only after weeks of Henry dodging and ignoring him. He thought breaking it off might make Henry fight for them, but that plan backfired. 

The song ends and Alex refocuses himself. He pushes the performance from his mind and collects himself. They set their things on stage and he begins signing items for people in the crowd. 

He signs countless posters with unique sayings. One poster was just a giant cutout of his head. It was kind of creepy looking, but still great to see the look on June’s face when she got to that poster. 

He was almost at the end of the line when he came across a girl with a shirt that had “The Royals” logo on it. The words “I like them too” were out of his mouth before he could stop it.

The girl glanced down before back up at him. She brightened, “Oh right. Aren’t you all like best friends after touring together?”

She held out a hat with their band logo on it for him to sign. Alex took it from her and uncapped his pen. He quickly signed his AGCD and said, “Yup” as he recapped the pen.

“Not that it’s like any of my business or whatever, but is Henry okay? His new solo song is just so sad.”

Alex tried not to let his surprise show on his face. Of course he had tried not to listen to it. But a solo song from Henry released right when their collab with Bea and Pez was taking place. How could he not listen to it?

His entire Spotify was filled with Henry’s songs again. Ever since Liam had made him listen to that one, he couldn’t stop. 

He tried to smile and reassure the girl, “He will be fine. He’s got good friends.” 

Alex walked away from the rest of the crowd then. They’re scheduled to have another interview with the studio in 30 minutes so he returns to his dressing room. He needs time to himself after debuting such an emotional song. And that girl’s question hit him in the chest. 

He wished he could reach out to Henry and see how he was. If they were on speaking terms of any sort, he would. If Henry hadn’t ghosted him for weeks, he would’ve called him the second he finished listening to “Cherry”.

He sat in the lounge chair in his room and pulled out his Airpods. He popped them in and queued up the song again. Part of him wanted to believe it was about him. It sounded like Henry was speaking directly to him. Nora had pretty much said that it had Alex Claremont-Diaz written all over it. 

If that was true though, why didn’t Henry just reach out? Maybe he wrote this back when they broke up and he was just prepared to release it now.

But it did come out just after “Closer” had become a huge hit. Could it be? Could it really be Henry reaching out to him? 

Alex pulls up the lyrics on his phone and studies them again. He’s sucked into a rabbit-hole of this whole “Does Henry still want me?” and soon a knock is at the door. They give him a five minute warning before the interview.

He joins the girls back on stage and they sit in chairs facing the talk show hosts. The hosts introduce the band and start asking them basic questions. June and Nora answer a few about their tour next year. They ask Alex how it was working with Liam again. And finally it happens. 

One of them asks, “So Alex, the ladies have been dying to know, who are you writing all of these songs about?”

He feels his stomach tighten. He will not lie, but he cannot possibly tell the truth here either. He settles for “an old friend” and tries to pass it off with a smile. 

Of course, they don’t stop there. Another says, “Oh don’t be shy. I’m sure you’ll win her over with songs like this!”

“That’s so flattering, but I would like to keep this private. I love sharing details with my fans, and maybe one day I can share this one too, but for now, a man ought to have a little mystery.”

He tried to play it off and act confident, but he felt his attention weaning from the rest of the interview. 

As soon as the interview finished, he headed for their car. He gave the girls the front seats so he could read the lyrics of Henry's recent songs. He let himself get fully sucked into wondering about Henry. Trying to guess if he still cared. He studied Henry's social media accounts. He went to their bands website and looked for news. He read through tabloids. 

A picture a fan took recently of Henry tightened Alex's chest. It was dated for when Pez and Bea had been in town. Henry was dressed entirely in black with a gray hat on. He had his face down over a cup of what Alex would guess was tea. Without anymore context, Alex could still read his body language enough to know that Henry was defeated. The circles under his eyes were just barely there. And Henry never slumped over in chairs like that. 

Switching back to the bands website. Alex took a breath and hit purchase on a VIP ticket to their Austin show.  
  



	9. July 4, 2018

July 4, 2018

The last few weeks of the tour had been a whirlwind. Alex now knew most of the other bands songs by heart as they began doing guest appearances in each other’s shows. He had yet to do one with the Royals, but he’d caught Henry in the crowd a few times watching him.

Henry’s presence was another thing that had only increased since the tour began. They were practically attached at the hip with how much time they spent together. They had been trying random local restaurants at every stop and having movie marathons when traveling. It seemed the only times they weren’t hanging out were when they were each performing. Nora had taken to calling Henry his boyfriend which always made him feel a little flustered for some reason. 

Both bands had become extremely close over the last few weeks. They felt like a family now. There had even been talks of going on another tour together sometime next year. They all had plans to watch the fireworks together later.

First, they found a nearby park to grill out on. Alex claimed he was the only grill master in the group. It was his job to prepare the food for everyone. He didn’t mind when Henry kept coming over to keep him company. 

While he waited for the food to cook he pulled up his shirt and used the tail end to wipe the sweat off his forehead. He used some hand sanitizer and then turned to Henry again.

“You feeling okay, man? Your face is looking a little sunburned.”

“Oh no, no I’m good. Just reapplied.”

Alex nodded and continued, “Oh okay. I have a spare hat in my bag if you want it.”

Henry shrugged, “Couldn’t hurt.”

Alex reached in and went into his bag. He pulled out a trucker hat with a blue front and a beer logo on the front. It was very American looking. Alex smiled as he handed it over knowing Henry would hate it.

He bet that's why his stomach twisted as he took in Henry wearing his hat. 

Alex turned back to the grill and called out, “I’m making your burger special.”

“How so?” Henry asked.

“You’ll see!”

When all the food was done, Alex set it all out on a picnic table for everyone. He grabbed a plate and immediately began assembling Henry’s food. He made sure to put all the good stuff on it - pickles, onion, cheese, tomato, lettuce, some guac for good measure, and then got down to the condiments. He picked up the spray bottle and made a star design on the bun with ketchup before putting mustard in stripes on his burger.

Alex proudly handed the burger over to Henry, who had been watching him the entire time. He gestured for Henry to take a bite. 

They walked over to a blanket and sat down. Henry gently picked up the burger and took a small bite. He chewed slowly as if considering the flavors. After he swallowed, Henry put the burger back down and licked the ketchup and mustard mix off of his finger. 

“Well,” Alex prompted.

“It’s good. I’d hire you as my personal chef.”

Alex got up and made a mocking bow before him. He felt hot all of the sudden and walked over to get a beer. He made his own plate of food before settling back down with Henry. 

Alex laid down on the blanket and pulled his hat down over his face. He told the girls they were responsible for cleaning up since he cooked while Pez and Henry had shopped. 

He listened to Pez and Henry bicker over what songs they should play the next day. Alex hoped to catch their show. It was always great seeing Henry play. He deserved every award he’d ever won. He put his heart out there every time.

When he sat up, he looked up and found Henry’s eyes on him. Alex tried to smooth out his hair before standing up to help pack everything up. They had to travel over to the firework area soon.

Soon, they had moved all towards the firework area. They spread out two huge blankets to claim the area for the six of them. They lit some sparklers as they waited for the big fireworks to begin. 

Once they began, Alex couldn’t help but smile brightly. Even though he was 23 now, the fireworks were still amazing to him. He didn’t understand how people could hate this. He turned to look at Henry and saw him walking away. Alex felt confusion wash over him. He wanted to go after Henry, but he wanted to watch the fireworks. He also wasn’t sure if that meant Henry needed space.

After giving it a minute, Alex went off after him. He felt bad weaving through the people’s blankets as he blocked their view from the fireworks, but he had to find Henry. What if he was sick or something? 

He walked towards the Port-a-potty area but Henry was nowhere to be found. He walked towards the back of rows of people in hopes to see Henry.

Alex wants to smack himself for not going right away after Henry. How was he ever going to find him?

What if a fan kidnapped him? Or he passed out somewhere?

He was pacing about and debating if he should go back to the blanket when Alex spotted him. Off to the right, Henry was under a tree sitting down looking up at the sky. 

Alex approached Henry and crouched down next to him. “Hey,” he said quietly.

Henry flinched, but didn’t turn to look at Alex. “Hello,” he said. It sounded stiff and awkward. Nothing like how he had sounded just an hour ago.

“What’s wrong?”

Henry shook his head. Alex couldn’t help himself as he pushed, “Talk to me, H.”

He watched as Henry nodded. “What do you do when you want something you shouldn’t?”

“What do you mean?” It was a weak response, but he had no idea where Henry was coming from.

“You know, like you just can’t turn away from it, but it’s bad for you. People wouldn’t approve.”

He reached for Henry’s hand, “What’s really going on here, Hen?”

Henry made a frustrated sound and asked, “You really don’t get it?”

“Get what?” 

Henry finally looked up into Alex’s face. He suddenly realized they were only centimeters away. Henry’s free hand brushed the side of Alex’s face before he leaned in and kissed Alex.

Every sense in Alex seemed to spark. It was a bit ironic really to have actual fireworks going off. The kiss could’ve lasted the entire show and Alex would’ve happily missed it all. 

Kissing Henry wasn’t the same as kissing anyone else. He felt grounded and cared for. It warmed every bit of him up and drew him in closer. 

When they broke apart, Henry immediately looked away as if embarrassed. Alex leaned in to give him another quick kiss.

This time when he leaned back, Henry looked at him with complete shock and adoration on his face. 

“Wanna get out of here?” Alex asked.

Henry nodded. They had hotel rooms for their extended stay in South Carolina this weekend. Alex texted the girls that he and Henry were leaving. 

They walked closely the entire time. Whenever their hands brushed between them it felt like a shock to his system. He wanted to hold Henry’s hand, but there were too many people around them still.

Henry guided them back to the room he and Pez were staying in. Alex could instantly tell which bed Henry had been sleeping in. Pez had a glittery body pillow and clothes all over his bed. Henry’s was neat with the only personal item of a worn out Pride and Prejudice copy on the nightstand. 

Alex took it all in before turning his eyes back to Henry. He felt his stomach twist and was able to accurately identify that feeling for once as want. He took a step closer, “So, you want me?”

Henry took a step closer and reached for Alex. “Yes. I like you, Alex.”

“You do?” he couldn’t stop himself from asking. It sounded so stupid to ask.

He laughed and moved in to kiss Alex again. He thought he heard something like “obviously” but Alex was getting lost in Henry’s kiss. Alex guided them towards the bed.

Henry pulled back to check, “You sure?”

Alex grabbed Henry but the shirt and pulled him in closer. He sat back on the bed and tried to tug Henry down with him. He kissed Henry on the cheek and then on his neck. Henry tugged on the bottom of Alex’s t-shirt as if asking him if he could take it off. He moved around making it easier for it to come off before he began working on unbuttoning Henry’s shirt. 

It wasn’t long until Henry’s hand reached for Alex’s belt. It was quickly undone and his pants were tugged down to his ankles. Henry took his time kissing Alex from his lips all the way until right above his waste. He felt himself tighten in anticipation of what Henry had planned next. Henry’s mouth was on him soon. Sucking and licking in a way that made Alex feel like he’d burst at any moment. Just when he thought he’d adjusted to it, Henry found a way to intensify it somehow. 

When he finished, Henry moved to lay beside him. They were both breathing heavily and Alex had just had his mind blown. He wondered where Henry had learned to do  _ that _ .

“That was incredible,” Alex finally spoke. 

Henry ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” he admitted.

Alex flushes at the thought. “For how long?”

“Since at least the night we met at the award’s ceremony.”

Alex turned to look at Henry. Confused he asked, “But, that’s when we met? How could it be at least?”

Henry shrugged and then admitted, “I’ve followed your band since your first song came out.”

Then Henry reached for his phone. He scooted over so Alex could see. He opened up the Instagram app and pulled down the accounts. He switched over to his private account “hwales_” and went to the saved posts. 

There were only a few pictures, but one of them was a video. Alex recognized it as the first video he released about a song. The top comment was made by “hwales_” and Alex had even responded to it.

Alex’s mind was blown for the second time that night. When he snaps out of it, he gives Henry a shove.

“Hey! What was that for?”

“We could’ve been doing this” Alex gestured between the two of them before continuing with “the whole time! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well, you’re kind of intimidating!”

Alex groans, “H, we’ve been hanging out for weeks now.”

“Better late than never?”

Alex leans back in to kiss him. Henry pulls him into his arms. Alex wants to complain about being the little spoon, but he’s too comfortable. 

They both manage to fall asleep that night. When Alex wakes up, Henry’s still asleep. He looks amazing, especially like this. He knows he needs to head back to his own room though, but he doesn’t want to wake Henry and he also doesn’t want to leave without saying good-bye. 

Alex looks down and spots a tube of lipstick that he thinks belongs to Pez. He shifts out of Henry’s arms and grabs the lipstick. Right on Henry’s forearm, he scrawls “lover” on the inside. 

He grabs his clothes and slips out the door. He sends Henry a text about meeting up later to return last night’s favor. He already can’t wait to see Henry again. Alex doesn’t think he’s ever been this excited about someone before.

He can’t explain it, but it’s just different with Henry.

**Author's Note:**

> Song - Bang the Doldrums by Fall Out Boy


End file.
